My December

Today is a special day.

Can’t recollect now how when and where I got that.
I was so childish…Ya I know that.
I behaved at times very silly.
I had an intense desire to possess it.
I was selfish. I never want to share that with anybody.
I couldn’t even stand a slight deviation from the normal way.
I made problems for everything with everybody.
I used to hurt everybody just to justify myself.
So silly I was….

Then Yes once that time came. It became my own.
Perhaps I felt it that way. Now I knew that was my wrong perception.
As an innocent child I celebrated those times.
I never knew that hard times are waiting for me.

Things changed.
Real life situations started staring at me.
I became a failure in many situations.
I started realizing things in a clear perspective.
People around me started blaming me.
I lost control on my life.
In fact I gave up.
Somebody else took control of my life.

Life changed 360 degrees.
A complete transformation occurred.
I became highly reserved and responsible suddenly.
I stopped laughing and crying in front of people.
Everybody told I am lucky.
Yes I know I am.
Thank God, you made me so secure and I am happy.

But there are some moments in life with a sudden drift
Those times are really painful.
Things will come in front of you as in a movie.
Those old memories will ask you many questions. Those old memories will make you again silly, it will make you cry.
Whatever you suppressed inside will come out and yes tears are broken out now.
I can’t stop it.
I don’t want to stop too.